Okay, so it has been like, a quatrillion years since I've been on here. I've even decided to rename my blog and re-design. Much has changed since I was going through the whole "Unemployed Stay-at-Home Dad" stage in my life. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am wonderfully employed, and although it is not my dream job, it most definitely is a step toward it.
The place where I work is wonderful. They have an employee breakfest every Friday morning and we get to stuff ourselves with donuts and bagels and various fruit types. There is free Keurig coffee...all...day...long, and if you really, really want to, you can actually do some training/school work if you have any down time, which is a great thing for self-improvement. This is my first federal contracting job, so I just know that I'm going to get spoiled and I'll expect way too much for my next one. That is, if I actually have to leave this company or get canned. Hopefully none of that foolishness is happening anytime soon.
So, I have to tell you about last Saturday morning (week before Christmas). I drove down to Waynesboro to see the parents and grandparents. Pooka and Princess were already there (since Wednesday) and acted as if they might have potential for being spoiled (surely not). THE OMNIPOTENT MOMMY (yes, I still call her that) had to work...at Borders, which she simply loves...so I decided to go down and spend Christmas-a-week-Early Day with them. I was in a huge hurry and so I decided that when the gas light in my car came on in Charlottesville to simply ignore it and to risk running out of gas and being stranded on the middle of Afton Mountain. Not a great way to start your Saturday....fortunately, my vehicle is embraced by Al Gore and is energy efficient, and therefore I made it all the way to Waynesboro and drifted into the local yokel gas station on fumes.
When I got to my parents house we had the Christmas bash. Nothing exciting went on there, so I won't elaborate with all the children running around acting crazy and receiving gifts. The real reason I am writing about all of this is so I can include the contents of Sunday afternoon's dinner conversation.
Before I begin this, let me just say that I love my family very much and I do not believe them to be dysfuctional. Hilarious would be a better word. We all have those people that we love but we believe to be out of date with reality. We often find, however, that their reality is probably better than ours and their way is the way things should be. But anyway, to give you a taste of my W-boro trips, I gotta include this story.
My family and myself were all sitting down at the table eating dinner: Me, Dad, Mom (Jaynie), my grandmother Pat(NaNa), and my grandfather Emerson (Paw). Paw, who has extensive hearing loss and couldn't hear a grenade go off within 5 yards distance, initiates conversation. I'm not going to divulge the whole thing because I can't remember everything. I will try to re-live the moment, but I'm quite sure most of this will be slightly exaggerated in order for you to feel me. Fo' real.
(Warning: Don't read this if you were on on the Axis side during WWII, love communism and the Chinese, believe in Global Warming, or embrace the current US Govt. Administration that is ruining everything they can get their hands on. You will be offended.)
Paw: (Really loud 'cuz he can't hear) SO I HEAR THE NEIGHBOR DOWN THE STREET BOUGHT A KIA. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? WHAT IS THIS NATION COMING TO? DON'T THEY KNOW WE FOUGHT THOSE PEOPLE IN WWII?
Me: Paw, that was like 60 years ago and isn't the KIA a Korean car? It's not Japanese.
Paw: WELL EVEN SO THOSE PEOPLE ARE COMMUNIST AND HATE US.
Me: Yeah Paw, but that's North Korea...I'm pretty sure the KIA is from South Kor.....
Paw: HUH? WHAT'S THAT?
NaNa: EMERSON, HE SAIIIID THE KIIIIIA WAS FROM SOOUTH KOORREEAA (slowly, so he can hear it).
Dad: Speaking of that area of the world, did you know that a majority of your emails got routed through China last year?
Me: Huh?
Dad: Yeah. The Chinese were just messing with us as usual.
Me: Yeah, the Chinese have a whole cyberwarfare division trying to take down our agencies in case we ever go to war...
RING RING! (cell phone)
Jaynie: Hello? Oh she did???? Hey, let me call you back.....
Paw: HOW ABOUT THIS WEATHER, HUH? IT'S COLD AND WE AREN'T EVEN THROUGH HALF OF THE WINTER YET!
Dad: Yeah, it must be global warming! (with smile on face)
Paw: WE NEED SOMEBODY IN OFFICE THAT WON'T MESS AROUND WITH THESE COUNTRIES AND WILL STOP THIS FOOLISHNESS.
Me: Yeah, but you don't get voted into office these days unless you play the saxaphone or like cigars (rather chumly). Ain't that right, Nana? (patting her on back)
NaNa: AND I STILL LIKE HIM AND WOULD VOTE FOR HIM AGAIN!!! (defiance)
Me: To tell you the truth, it's a sad day when I wish Clinton was still in office...
Paw: WE GOTTA STOP THESE FOREIGNERS FROM TAKING OVER EVERYTHING. THE CHINESE ARE BUYING UP THE WHOLE NATION!
Dad: Hopefully we can get somebody in the Tea Party to be President! (motions proudly toward Tea Party sticker on truck)
Me: Those people are Godless. True Communists have no sense of morality. You should read about the stuff they do to persecute churc....
Paw: DID YOU EVER GET YOUR CAR INSPECTED?
Me: Uh, no I didn't Paw. I think I need new brakes so I haven't even bothered to take it in.
Paw: DID YOU TRY LOOSENING THE GAS CAP?
Me:......................Yeah, I already did that. I need new brakes, pretty sure.
NaNa: EMERSON, THE CAAARRR NEEEEDDS BRAAAKKEES.
Me: Yeah, so as soon as I get the cash, I will get it inspected. I mean, what's the rush? The sticker's only been dead since September.
End.
So that's just a taste of what the usual conversation amounts to when I go down and visit. It may seems dysfunctional, but I love every minute of it.
In other news, I am still planning on taking my Security + exam...when...I...can...afford...to. I have studied and now I just need a short review, and then I'm ready. I've also applied for a job at my current location that would consist of a little basic web design and some networking skills. I know it is a longshot for me, but the last person they hired had zero skills with quality assurance, and if that's how they roll, maybe I have a shot.
Well, I hope to update at least twice a week from here on out. There, I said it. That's my goal anyway. You have a wonderful New Year blog people!
All 2 of you. :)
And as Always: Live long, and Prosper.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOW, LET IT SNOOOOOWWWW
Hey all you crazy Christians!
It's time to get on our knees and thank God for His wonderful blessing of snow! I'm talking about the 2.5 feet that is on the ground still and the other amount that is falling down from the sky as I type!
Stop whining everybody! God is good! Let's thank Him for the snow! It may be the last time we see it. Jesus may come and we may never see the snow again. I doubt there will be any in Heaven. I could be wrong, though. I know, it's hard to believe, me being wrong and all. It has happened before, I assure you.
Anyway, the snow is awesome! I know it is hard to dig your cars out and you get tired shoveling your driveways. I wish I had a garage so I could park my car in the snow. I would still have to clean the driveway. That's just the way it is for now. One day we won't have to worry about it anymore, but until then, embrace it and thank the Lord that you got to see it and be a part of it.
Just think of all those Israelites back in ancient Israel that probably never saw snow. Speaking of which, no wonder everybody hates everybody over in the Middle East. When your brain is frying at 150 degrees outside, you just want to pick up a rock and throw it at somebody. It is so stinking hot over there sometimes that you can fry an egg on the street, I hear. Who in their right mind would rather have that than the wonderful white snowfall surrounding their house and car?
The only drawback to the snow is that I can't get to church sometimes because it gets cancelled. When we do have service and it's snowing, we are one of like five families that actually shows up. A missionary friend of mine told me of his eldest member (74 years old!!!) that walked for an HOUR in 20 degrees with 6 inches of snowfall all day long just to go to church. I should mention that this happened in Ukraine, but the point is that we should go to church whenever we can!! Rain or snow, sleet or hail, dogs and cats falling out of the sky and dinosaurs munching on our car tires, we should still go.
Is it obvious yet that I love the snow? Snow is useful in so many ways. You can eat it, roll in it, slide down it, pelt your Pastor with snowballs (he likes it, honest), make a snowman, snow angel, go skiing, go snowboarding, and just be crazy with it. It is meant for us as a gift, the way I see it.
So stop WHINING AND GRUMBLING and being the little non-hackers that dislike God's wonderful creation. He might just make it snow a few more feet because you keep complaining.
Live long, and prosper.
It's time to get on our knees and thank God for His wonderful blessing of snow! I'm talking about the 2.5 feet that is on the ground still and the other amount that is falling down from the sky as I type!
Stop whining everybody! God is good! Let's thank Him for the snow! It may be the last time we see it. Jesus may come and we may never see the snow again. I doubt there will be any in Heaven. I could be wrong, though. I know, it's hard to believe, me being wrong and all. It has happened before, I assure you.
Anyway, the snow is awesome! I know it is hard to dig your cars out and you get tired shoveling your driveways. I wish I had a garage so I could park my car in the snow. I would still have to clean the driveway. That's just the way it is for now. One day we won't have to worry about it anymore, but until then, embrace it and thank the Lord that you got to see it and be a part of it.
Just think of all those Israelites back in ancient Israel that probably never saw snow. Speaking of which, no wonder everybody hates everybody over in the Middle East. When your brain is frying at 150 degrees outside, you just want to pick up a rock and throw it at somebody. It is so stinking hot over there sometimes that you can fry an egg on the street, I hear. Who in their right mind would rather have that than the wonderful white snowfall surrounding their house and car?
The only drawback to the snow is that I can't get to church sometimes because it gets cancelled. When we do have service and it's snowing, we are one of like five families that actually shows up. A missionary friend of mine told me of his eldest member (74 years old!!!) that walked for an HOUR in 20 degrees with 6 inches of snowfall all day long just to go to church. I should mention that this happened in Ukraine, but the point is that we should go to church whenever we can!! Rain or snow, sleet or hail, dogs and cats falling out of the sky and dinosaurs munching on our car tires, we should still go.
Is it obvious yet that I love the snow? Snow is useful in so many ways. You can eat it, roll in it, slide down it, pelt your Pastor with snowballs (he likes it, honest), make a snowman, snow angel, go skiing, go snowboarding, and just be crazy with it. It is meant for us as a gift, the way I see it.
So stop WHINING AND GRUMBLING and being the little non-hackers that dislike God's wonderful creation. He might just make it snow a few more feet because you keep complaining.
Live long, and prosper.
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