(Intro)
YOU: Wow, Jason, it's great to see you back on here.
ME: Thank you, it's great to be back.
YOU: No seriously Jason, your charm and wit have been missed immensely. The planets have all fallen out of alignment and darkness has reigned on earth since you left our blogspot.
ME: Well, have no fear, chaps. I have returned with a most outstanding blog on this evening of reconciliation. I have surpassed all expectations and will have you begging for more of my most awesome blog shortly before you finish reading below.
YOU: Thank you, Oh thank you, Mr. Jason! We worship your very existence and curse the day of your imminent employment when you will no longer be available to scribe your most excellent blogs.
ME: It shall be done! Let us make haste and embrace the present in order that we may gain strength from my most excellent blog tonight! Come, let us tell of all the wonders and signs that have befallen since I have last blogged. Arise! Let us go forth!
(Exit Intro)
Let's just say that if this was the 60's and I wasn't pending background investigation, and I was in the same mindframe as a vast number of college students back then, there may be a bit of questionable drug use going on around here after the month that I've just had.
I mean, where do I begin?
Which story should I begin to tell concerning how my life has spun out of control in the past month since I have blogged?
Would you like to hear about the sickness I have endured? How about learning of the hives that are currently on my arms? Do I need to indulge everybody over how many employment applications I have put in for various positions worldwide, all for naught?
I know, you would rather hear of the A I made on my multimedia test, the fact that my potentially new employer actually contacted me and wants me to take a polygraph test next week, and I know you want to hear all about my wife had a birthday and she had a great time even though she had pneumonia.
It has been a rough time this month, but I am used to going through hardship and I am rolling with the punches as usual. My three courses that I am taking are really interesting for a change. Usually I'm stuck taking stupid classes that I won't use, but these fall in line with my career track, so I am happy to be taking them and actually learning something I will use. What a concept!
So let me catch you up on what's been going on:
I have put in for many jobs (one has to when one is collecting employment) and I've only had a few phone calls or emails. The ones that have called shortly shut me down due to not being qualified for the position. I'm not totally depressed about, since it has allowed me to go to school and move forward with education.
(Pause)
YOU: Jason, what's going on? Where is your wit, your comical vibe? Why aren't you impressing us with your sarcastic takes on life? What has happened in the past month?
ME: Ok, I've got to tell you this, but you have to promise not to speak of it to anybody, not even your imaginary friends. You know that mental state that they speak of, that way of being that they call sanity? Well, it was shortly after I last blogged that I was visited by aliens and was taken up to their spaceship. They shot something in my arm with a needle and I blacked out, and then when I woke up in my bedroom the next day, my sanity was gone! The aliens took it with them! I've been trying for the past month to apply for jobs at NASA in the hopes that they will send me up there to try to get my sanity back from the aliens.
YOU: Uh.....
ME: Not really, but it's more interesting than telling you that my brain is fried right now and I need to get off of here so I can study for my exams I have this week. I'm so sorry that my mind is drawing a blank tonight. I will have to resume my tales of the past month on my next blog concerning Pooka and Claire, Stacey and K-dog. I am completely wiped out.
YOU: Um, okay...see ya...
(Exit Pause)
I am so tired right now, I guess I should have waited until tomorrow to try to reinstate my blog for my whole two fans to see it. I hope you girls are having a better week than I am.
